Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I want you more than these girls want KFC
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
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