How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Randomize
