are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
he just fucked me for my cheese..
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Randomize