Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Randomize
