i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
