i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
im calling her cock vulture from now on
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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