I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Randomize
