I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
This house was built for laser tag.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
