We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Randomize
