problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
