There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
You took a bar mat shot.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
