I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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