He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
