WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
