Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Sorry my hands just texted you
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
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