i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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