She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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