You can't motorboat a personality
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
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