I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
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