why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
