I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Randomize
