How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Randomize
