We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
