the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
