im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Randomize
