brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
