Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
so let's talk penis.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Randomize
