You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize