I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
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