I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
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