Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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