they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize