You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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