Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Randomize
