it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Randomize
