I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
