Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Randomize
