I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Randomize
