I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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