Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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