I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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