is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
