he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Randomize
