woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
