If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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