no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
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