I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
