Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Randomize