I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
