We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
