I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize