Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
