I want to stick my p in your. b.
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
