When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Just puked most of my soul out..
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