Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Green mimosas i think yes
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize