1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
