He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
