I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
