i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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