Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
