Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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