the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
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