Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
